Kishan's Love
by ObsessedKitsune
Summary: Kishan loved hard, and he deserved love. He would do anything for love. I DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN TIGER'S CURSE. I only own this story.


Courtney Meier

When Kishan had first met Yesubai, it had been love at first glance. He remembered his heart speeding up and his mind filling with only her, overwhelming and vibrant his love for her had soothed his aching heart. Weary from years spent being a soldier and killing. Even seeing the despair killing caused had made his heart stutter into submissive darkness.

She was like a beautiful goddess with her long black hair that shimmered like gossamer. Her vivid violet eyes that entranced him. Her lovely oval shaped face that held her beautiful pink lips. Her dark eyebrows and eyelashes that gave her an air of regality.

Even the way she walked had been beautiful, shoulders straight, eyes fixed on somewhere just past him. He remembered how he had yearned for those eyes to remain fixed on him. Those violet eyes that would glance past his cold exterior and look only at him. Kishan. Not the soldier, not the younger brother, not the inexperienced prince. But him. Kishan.

When he had first talked to her he had been awed by her experience and knowledge. She talked like she walked, not faltering, her voice with a graceful undertone. When she had stood next to him, he had been ecstatic to notice she was smaller than him, just up to his shoulders. He believed this also pointed to her belonging with him, for fate would say. "Bearing over them, they would cower, until you caressed their shaking exterior, and held them; simply hugging them to you in a protective embrace."

He had been happy. For once in his life he was happy. Then it had been told. Yesubai had been a present to the next king. The next king would have her.

There were no delusions and he knew. He knew this would never last. Ren was to be the next king. He knew it already, and again in his life he would come second to last.

He remembered his cold exterior coming up to conceal the raging blackness of his heart. The writhing twisting shadows struggling to find some means of escape. He held them in, created an emotional cage. It was expected of a prince, even one that had been raised like he, to remain calm in all circumstances.

That was when Yesubai had ran at him, grabbing at him and pleading with him to understand. "I don't want to marry him, I want you!" He remembered just staring at her blankly, thinking that there was nothing he could do. She had cried, shiny tears falling from her goddess like violet eyes. She began weeping helplessly and crying out things they could do, anything they could do, so desperate was she.

One finally struck a chord within Kishan. He pulled her petite body close and she gasped, her full pink lips curling into an O. He had held her, feeling the planes of her body press against his, it was overwhelming and he knew there was no way he could let go of this feeling. I will do whatever it takes, my _bilauta._ His mind focused clearly on one thing. No matter the consequence, no matter the circumstance. He knew he would do whatever it takes to keep his love close to him.

So he let Lokesh capture Ren and he stood by as the torture began. As the first knife set upon Ren's skin a guilty feeling had spread through his veins. It had crawled its way up his heart and into his mind, a slimy slithery thing. He had glanced around desperately, wondering if perhaps this was too much. A pale graceful hand had grabbed his chin and he turned to face his own personal goddess. She smiled gently at him, and without words he knew. He knew that it was worth it. He had remained tense the entire time he watched, but he did nothing to stop what was going on. Soon his guilt had faded and he relaxed. Settling in for the show with his love on his arm.

Of course Kishan realized what he was doing. He knew this was wrong. He knew he would never be able to show himself to his family again, but for now he was content with his love pressed close to him. He hadn't realized that Lokesh had other intentions though. Lokesh had never intended to let him be with Yesubai. Lokesh had never intended to let Yesubai live at all. That was what he figured out after Lokesh's knife sunk deep into her fair skin. He watched, numb in his shock as the blood seeped from her body. Contrasting greatly with her pale skin.

The rest of the memory was only remembered with rage. Pure, black animalistic rage that erupted within him...and then nothing. Pain. His body changing, lengthening, collapsing.

Then he and Ren had gone to their parents, their teacher, and there they had stayed. He had felt two more losses at that time. One, his father. Two, his mother. That was when he knew he would stay in that jungle and he would take his punishment. He would not cry, he did not deserve that human release.

He deserved only to be witnessed as the animal he was. The selfish, black, caged animal he was. Even as Ren was kidnapped he would not allow himself to do anything, to fight for anything.

This was when the descent started. His golden eyes had shown with an animalistic gleam. He had growled and roared in triumph at his kills and had licked at his own claws. Over time he grew to forget ever being human. He forgot the feeling of smooth skin, not overrun with coarse hair. He forgot the feeling of hands that were not meant to be used for slashing and killing. He gave over his humanity. It was his punishment. Never to feel the sweet pleasure of another human. Never to feel the sweet pleasure of another body pressed tight against his own.

Then the smell of a human had invaded his general vicinity. The smell was sweet with a hint of a fluffy feeling. He remembered his thoughts being overrun and the soft pounding in his heart. He had fought the feelings, pushing them into the darkness of his mind, but it was too hard. He craved for that smell. He craved the feeling of a human.

Those were the thoughts he had, those were the feelings he had when he wandered into the clearing, they had all faded into nothing as he witnessed the girl. She was beautiful, not as beautiful as Yesubai had been, but she was the most beauty he had seen in years.

She faced him and there was no fear. His caged heart had given a stutter, but she just glanced at him and looked on in confusion. She didn't see the tiger? She didn't see him as an animal? He growled low in his throat to try and frighten her. He was a monster, an animal, a selfish black thing that wanted pain and suffering. Why could she not see that? All she did was laugh.

The feeling was instantaneous, he felt his heart speed up and his brain settled into a feeling of contentment. He was human. He felt human. For once in a very long time he felt like a human. He grinned and felt his body tighten and smooth skin replace the coarse hair. He shivered at the feeling. It had been a long time. He smiled at her and she blushed.

He couldn't help but want to be closer. To feel her and convince himself this was not a dream. He had taken one step closer when felt a thud on his back and instinct caused him to change back into an animal. He glowered, he knew it couldn't be true. He knew, but yet why had he allowed himself to hope? He let go of his human side again and threw himself into the fight. Growling and slashing. He smirked inside when he realized his precious older brother was inexperienced. Years of sitting in a cage had weakened him.

Kishan, on the other hand was strong. He had been honing his skills and knew exactly where to claw, where to snap to break a person. For some reason, every time he made what would be a killing swipe..he hesitated. He pulled back and clawed at Ren's leg, his furry back. He became frustrated with himself. He was an animal, was he not?! He had only been human for a brief while. Why was he weakening now?!

Letting out a tiny growl he had allowed himself to collapse. Knowing that Ren would be too tired to continue the fight. He had expected to be shunned, to be ignored. What he hadn't expected was the girl to sob and throw herself at the two tigers. She had begun by cleaning Ren's wounds, and then...she cleaned his. He had been shocked and recoiled, but she had just grabbed him.

He remembered enjoying the feeling of her hands, though inexperienced, they had been soft and gentle. After she had finished, he had rushed off, his tiger body reminding him of why he could not allow himself to fall for her. She never did leave his mind though, even after giving her the amulet, and the brief stolen kiss. Her scent had faded from his forest but he craved her.

The way she seemed to care for him even after only meeting him for a brief time, the way she soothed his wounds so gently. The images of her replayed in his mind each second of every day. Despite himself he began to give into them. Struggling to stay human so as to not have the risk of losing them.

When the day came for them to meet again, he had realized instantly something had changed. Something had changed between her and Ren. He came last again. She had chosen Ren. He knew there was no hope, but he knew he would hold out for her and continue to wait. Maybe someday she would reciprocate his feelings? Even though she was with Ren, he would content himself with just being by her side.

Then It happened, Ren was kidnapped by Lokesh's men. He had been appalled to realize he was happy. He was happy because maybe finally he would have his chance to win Kelsey's heart. It had hurt, seeing her sad, but he allowed her to use him as a crutch, a comfort in her time of need.

Shangri La had come and he had been happy there too. Besides the passing comment about Ren she had focused her attention on him. He stole a few kisses, a few brief touches, and he felt good. He felt like maybe, just maybe they could continue like this. He protected her through everything and he deserved her. He deserved her love too. As each day passed more and more of her emotions for Ren began fading. As her feelings for him grew, he began hoping. Maybe something had changed. Maybe something was finally in his favor.

Then Shangri La ended. Her attention for Ren started up again and she seemed so desperate to have him back. He tried to distract her from Ren. He didn't want his fantasy to be so easily ruined. He had hated how selfish he was, but he needed more. Ren got so much, why couldn't he have this one thing. Just one thing.

And when Ren came back with amnesia, after only forgetting Kelsey, he again hoped. But it seemed even when he didn't remember her their love was still strong. After dating for a brief while, Ren had broken up with Kelsey. It practically killed him inside to see her look so heartbroken. Her once vibrant smile dimmed by the rejection.

He had pleaded with Ren, begging him to take her back, but it seemed Ren could even match him in stubborness. He decided to double his efforts in winning Kelsey's heart. Even if he was only a rebound, he could make her happy, right? If only she would give him a chance, he could help her.

She finally accepted. Each second felt like heaven, he cuddled her and whispered endearments in her ear. Watching for danger as she slept, and protected her with his life. Pushing himself to the limit, he pulled every excuse to be near her. And she was happy. Her eyes regained their glow and she seemed to smile more. She became more beautiful to his eyes everyday.

They never got around to kissing. He was just content to be near her, and she needed healing. He arranged dates and made flowers. Then it happened, it was a happy occasion. He confessed to her his love and even told her the extent of when his love started. She had been in tears and had hugged him, kissing him passionately. It had felt like his heart became overwhelmed and he felt pleasure soar through his being.

It had been the last happy memory. After that kiss, Ren had regained his memory and Kishan could see Kelsey still wanted him. He felt like an outsider in his own relationship when Kelsey and Ren were in the same room together. The way they always seemed to lean just the slightest bit closer, and the way their energies seemed to become thicker as they spoke. The way they seemed so secretive. Once, he had even seen them kissing and he had felt angry, but he knew there was nothing he could do.

For now he would just wait until Kelsey decided. He would not do anything. He was willing to sacrifice Kelsey. Whoever she chose he would be happy. And he knew, even if she chose him, that she would never truly love him. She never had before, he knew but yet he would not give up on her. He would keep trying no matter what the consequences. So he locked his emotions in a cage, twisted the black shadows into a lock, and allowed himself to be tortured. Smiling through it all. He deserved it. It seemed even now he was being punished. Kelsey and Yesubai had both been his torment, his loves, leading to his downfall. The black shadows twirled and he collapsed to the ground, his tiger self coming out. It seemed only natural. For a selfish black animal like himself.


End file.
